Local Advice on Keeping Kids From Drinking

Dozens of teens fill an empty house. Cars overflow into the street and loud music worries the neighbors into calling the police.  When officers arrive, alcohol is everywhere. There are teens throwing up, teens passed out, teens jumping out second-story windows and a stream of kids escaping out the back door and into the woods.

Yes, this is the typical party scenario, and it does happen in Farmington while parents aren’t home. But according to Farmington Police Chief Paul Melanson, this is not where most teenagers are doing their drinking.

For the most part, Melanson said, teens are drinking and getting alcohol in their own homes.

Melanson was among a group of experts gathered for a Farmington Focus presentation earlier held earlier this month to inform parents about where kids are drinking and the possible repercussions. Focus, the town’s local prevention council, works to help teens through education. The nonprofit capped off Prevention Works Week at the high school with the presentation for parents.

Suzy Whaley, professional golfer and mother of two teenage daughters, moderated the event. She explained a scenario that occurred in California just after Thanksgiving in which a Stanford professor had allowed his teenage children to hold a party in his basement. The dad set limits, prohibited alcohol at the party and continually went down to check on the kids to ensure there was no alcohol at the party. When police arrived on his doorstep, having received a report of underage drinking at the home, he welcomed them in, confident nothing was going on.

But police did find alcohol that the teens had snuck in and so he was arrested under social host laws, which hold a parent liable for teens drinking at their home.

The laws were created to target underage drinking where it happens — in a home.

What really happens in Farmington?

Ed Manfredi, Health and Physical Education director for Farmington schools, has been conducting surveys about student substance abuse and perception because, he said, a gap remains between what kids are doing and what they think everyone else is doing. And the perception that everyone else is drinking sometimes drives kids to drink themselves.

The most recent survey was complete in 2010.

“They dramatically overestimate their peers' drinking,” Manfredi said. “The social norm theory says when kids have a perception that everyone else is doing it, that drives use in the longterm.”

The school has been working to deflate the perception, Manfredi said, but self-reported numbers show they have farther to go. While the percent of Farmington teens drinking is well under the national average for freshman students, seniors have surpassed the average.

The survey asks kids where they do most of their drinking — home, school, a friend’s house or other. And in Farmington, Manfredi said, other means Tunxis Mead or another dark, woodsy place.

“Seventy-six percent of students who report they drink, say they do so most of the time at a friend’s house. It could be somebody that you absolutely trust but they’re either not around enough or kids have an empty house and have found a place to drink,” Manfredi said.

But the good news is that students reported their own opinion is the most important — not that of their peers. And while kids are often unaware of how their peers influence them, Manfredi said, research shows kids look to their parents for guidance on big decisions.

What can parents do to prevent it?

For Prevention Works Week, Focus brings in experts from Boston-based Freedom from Chemical Dependency, a group of adults who have been through addiction and try to spare teens from it.

Sarah Beryl, an FCD educator, over and over stressed that the neural-chemical affects of alcohol are most damaging to a young brain and that delaying alcohol use even a few years can make a huge difference.

“This part of their life, 14 through 18, these developmental years they’re so susceptible to chemicals getting in there and rearranging their neural-chemical system … It can take a 14 year-old as little as 16 months [to do irreparable damage through drinking] … and you see a whole skewed trajectory of their entire life, their future, their potential — it’s incredibly sad to watch,” she said.

So parents should do everything they can get between their kids and alcohol, she said, even if that means being unpopular.

She suggested getting to know other parents; call when your teens go to a friend’s house and find out where the parents will be and whether they intend to vigilantly check to make sure kids aren’t drinking.

At your own house, Beryl suggested keeping gatherings small, though she got some pushback from parents in the audience.

“I’m not sure why any more than 10 teenagers need to gather in place at any one time …. If you have 50-60 teens in one space and you’re trying to make sure no one’s bringing in alcohol, you’re going to have a tough time,” she said.

Snacks are a good excuse to keep appearing at your kids’ party, she said.

“Put all the pretzels and popcorn in very small bowls so you’re down there all the time, filling them up.”

What disciplinary actions does the school take?

Off-campus teen drinking is mostly a legal matter, handled by the police, and Farmington High School policy says the school won’t take action unless it involves a student athlete, said Vice Principal Curt Pandiscio.

For athletes, there are clear consequences: suspension from their sport for three weeks on the first offense, 10 weeks on the second offense and a full calendar year on the third. Administrators get an email from police every Monday morning with the names of students caught drinking.

For athletes, a huge deterrent is having to face Athletic Director Jack Phalen, Pandiscio said.

“He has such integrity and he puts so much hope into all these kids that they just feel like they’ve let him down and then they have to serve those three weeks,” he said.

The school has very few repeat offenders.

On-campus drinking is handled by the police school resource officers, who work with the parents.

What will the police do?

The party scenario plays out “time and again, year after year,” Melanson said.

“We respond to the house and the first officer goes to the back door because a minute after the officer gets to the door, they all try to run out and they’re jumping out the windows,” Melanson said.

Kids still get away, he said, but once police arrive, they won’t let anyone leave.

Instead, they try to determine who has been drinking and give each one a town code violation for underage drinking. The policy changed about 6 months ago, Melanson said, because parents were complaining that their child had been cited while another fought the charge and escaped consequence.

But it’s a difficult environment for due process.

“You have 25 kids there, yelling and screaming. People still trying to jump out second-floor windows. Some are throwing up. Some are passed out. We’re calling ambulances and trying to control the environment,” Melanson said.

Under the new policy, police give each child a ticket at a party where underage drinking is going on. If a child says he hasn’t been drinking, police ask him to submit to a breathalyzer test. If he refuses, he gets the ticket. If he passes, he does not.

The main concern is safety, Melanson said. If a teen does not pass a breathalyzer test, she must wait for a parent to arrive and take her home.

The town code violation results in a $100 ticket, which recently has gone toward funding Focus programs. A teen’s license will also be suspended and police may refer him to the Juvenile Review Board, which works with town social service officials, the police department and the family to keep students out of trouble.

Sometimes, Melanson said, parents argue that their child did the right thing by not running away and so shouldn’t receive the punishment while another child escaped.

“Life isn’t fair,” Melanson said. “What we try to do is stop the drinking. As somebody who’s had to knock on a door and tell a parent their child is in the hospital and I know they haven’t made it, it’s something we don’t want to be doing… we want to deal with it here with the parents so it’ll stop and they don’t get hurt.”

What are the legal consequences for parents?

If a child is drinking at a home, even if the property owner is unaware, there are huge liabilities involved, thanks to new social host laws.

Bill Beckert, an attorney and member of the Board of Education, explained the laws and the risks.

“If you’re providing alcohol, you could face 18 months and a $1,500 fine,” he said. But criminal sanctions will depend on the efforts a parent makes to prevent drinking.

“If they had a locked liquor cabinet and the kids don’t know where it is, it would be difficult for the state of Connecticut to present a case against them, but as we saw [from the Farmington survey], more often than not, teens got the alcohol at home and parents might be responsible for hosting a party,” Beckert explained.

That could equate to a $500 fine and a year in jail. Sometimes a risk of injury to a minor charge could be added, which Beckert said, is a felony.

The consequences also depend on whether someone gets hurt.

“The fines and criminal sanctions are serious but not life-altering, if they’re a first offense; more often than not, you won’t go to jail. But if someone gets hurt that option goes away,” he said.  “The classic example is someone running away from a police officer jumps into a car with a child who has been drinking at the party.

Civil liability is another risk faced by parents, if teens drink at their house.

“Home owners insurance will not cover you if you are a participant in an illegal act in your home – tacitly or implicitly. Any set of facts that would tend to show your child or their friends can get to your alcohol will always lead to financial liability if someone gets hurt,” he said.

That could mean losing your house, your business and everything you’ve saved, depending on the severity of the injury or damage, he said.

“If someone gets hurt at your house, whether you know about it or not, you have civil responsibility. If that child leaves your house, drives home and gets in an accident, you could lose everything."