Memorial for Mark Fey a Celebration

The hundreds of friends that filled First Church in Farmington for the memorial service of Mark B. Fey struggled to hold back tears, and also laughter, as they recalled moments in the great man’s life.

Fey, a scientist and local architect, spent his 59 years building homes, community and his family in Farmington before his death from cancer on Feb. 4.

The family offered a picture of the man they had loved — the family’s hero, Farmington’s son — and the congregation received it with joy.

Mark’s oldest son, Nathan, greeted the crowd, which stretched into the church’s balcony and flowed out into its aisles, with a smile saying “thank you for coming.”

His dad, he said, represented security, protection and strength, as he built a blissful childhood for his three sons. Nate thought of him as a kind of movie character.

“He was just a little funnier, more clever, more fearless than most people,” Nate said.

When his father saved a child from drowning when Nate was 7, he thought simply “of course he did, he was Mark.”

“There was nothing he didn’t know, couldn’t figure out or couldn’t fix,” Nate said.

In the end, Nate said, Mark regretted nothing.

“Mark’s life was great and he knew that it was.”

Mark’s middle son, who is also a scientist, Sam, said he was still grappling with how the world could continue to work without his father’s physical presence. What he found comfort in instead, was the places Mark Fey continued to be evident — in his family, his sons, buildings all over Farmington.

“I see Farmington as a living extension of Mark,” he said.

Maxfield, Marks youngest, described how his father put his family first and never lost his inner child.

“He gave me immeasurable moments when I couldn’t help but yell and point out, ‘That’s my dad,’” Max said.

Max recounted the time when he broke his arm longboarding down a hill, just in time for baseball season. Instead of a stern talk about being more carefully, Mark bought him a new glove and spent hours teaching him to play with his other hand.

Though the league ruled against a boy playing in a cast, the disappointment was fleeting.

“I was devastated but soon everything was okay again because I realized I had the greatest dad anyone could ever have,” Max said.

Mark’s siblings said he was leading the way into adventure and fun as a child and as an adult.

“Mark was a natural leader. I felt nothing could ever really go wrong when he was around,” his brother Martin said.

His sister, Nancy, described a selfless hero who pushed in front of another student in a UConn laboratory, shielding her from an explosion in which he suffered burns.

She called Mark “a Swiss army knife of a person” and said with him, “the unexpected was the norm. He was the career rule-breaker in every sense and every way, at every opportunity.”

Sam, Mark’s brother Erik Fey explained, had countless allergies as a child to, among other things, pet dander. But wanting to please his boy, Mark brought home a pig.

The pig was not an ideal fit for the Fey home and after a few days was returned.

“I tell this story because it’s ridiculous and because it shows how far Mark would go to make his boys happy,” Erik said. “He loved his boys and Jill, and he was a great father.”

One of the least well-traveled people, Mark was passionate about coaching his sons’ baseball games, watching track and swim meets and being with his childhood sweetheart.

Mark loved Jill Hammerberg-Fey, even as a boy, his family said. Nate introduced her as “Mark’s most special best friend, my mom, Jill.”

She described how in their life together, Mark had taken her hand and pulled her into running, adventure and 53 years of friendship.

“We were able to find a rhythm in our breath together and we made a life,” she said.

“He lives on in not only me but in all who love him."

The service concluded not with a traditional hymn, but with a jazz-infused chorus of The Beatles' “Hey Jude.”