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Lessons in Life from Coach Frank

A sporting dad appreciates the contributions of a dedicated leader.

It was just before practice on Friday evening and the last few parents were walking across the practice field toward our small group. Coach Frank’s team had already gone through its stretching routine and had left to run their lap before the real work would begin.

Frank is the kind of coach that you'd send your kid to when he doesn’t quite understand why he needs to work just as hard in the classroom as he does on the field. He's the coach who will teach your child why it's wrong to harass another child. He’s the coach who will always follow up with a phone call.

As he looked around to begin the parent's meeting, everything that had been a part of his work day was sent far away — perhaps to also take a few laps as to not interfere with his words to all of us. He is a man who like so many other coaches on the field, slip out of their business modes and into a mentor's role in the space of half a parking lot.

So by the time he began to speak, he'd forgotten that he’d just driven 30 miles home from work. Everything that had been a part of his work day had all been locked in the car — exchanged for a bag of football equipment.

In front of us was a man who could not hide his love for what he was there to do. Most of the parents were probably expecting to hear that the offensive line looked solid and the defense was as stingy as he’d seen in seven years of coaching in the league.

But Coach Frank wasn't there to speak to us about what type of offense he was running or who he thought his quarterback would be. He wasn’t there to discuss blitzes or sacks either.

That's not to say that he was not in his coaching mode — but Coach Frank doesn't just teach football. Sure the team runs through the same play 20 times a practice until they execute it perfectly. And they learn to tackle and block and everything else you'd expect a football coach to teach your football player.

But when Coach Frank is standing in front of the parents of his players, his smile is as big as three footballs. That is when he has you in his grip. And if you'd allow him, he'd tell a story about each and every one of his 24 players. Stories that would make you look at your child and the sport in a way that you would never expect to. His stories are as poignant as your favorite fairy tales and filled with the wonder that makes a football huddle sound like the Magic Kingdom.

To Coach Frank football is just a game. And you get the feeling that he wouldn't mind going undefeated and winning the championship. Just don't expect him to say it. There are more important things to do: like teaching respect and how to be a good teammate; like teaching how hard work during practice equals extra playing time on game day; and like how his job is to teach life lessons as much as proper blocking techniques.

You sense that winning games is a bonus to Coach Frank. The real rewards are the relationships built with teammates, the pride of being a part of something wonderful, and the trust in knowing that the person to your left or right is going to have your back.

He made it clear that he yells a lot — but with words of instruction and critiques that are constructive. If he needs to have a conversation with a player, it's always away from the others. If Mom and Dad need to be a part of it, they will get a quick invitation. Playing on his team is a privilege and bad behavior is the fastest way to lose it.

For as many coaches as there are that will run onto a field to assist in beating down a referee, there are a 1,000 more like Coach Frank. A thousand more like Coaches Chris and Justin, and Coaches Phil and Tony.

As the meeting ended, I could tell that every parent had gotten what they had come for: an understanding of what to expect from the coach; and that they could count on respect and communication being a two-way street.

Carolyn Marshall September 07, 2011 at 11:20 AM
good article. welcome to another mudhogs season. practice in the rain yesterday said it all.....mud hogs.
Don Douglas September 07, 2011 at 11:50 AM
Well done, Ron. Your comments about Coach Frank helped to evoke memories of my greatest mentor: Coach Don Driscoll, my swimming coach in high school. He was a master at getting the absolute best out of his athletes, and their parents, all while making them think they did it all by themselves. Coach Frank sounds like one mentor these kids are lucky to have now, and will be lucky to never forget later in life. Thank you for inspiring my little stroll down memory lane.
Keith Goralski September 07, 2011 at 02:11 PM
Trust, respect, communication... Looks like Coach Frank is teaching life traits by example which, to me, is more valuable than any book or lecture. Great column, Ron.
BOB GORALSKI September 07, 2011 at 11:14 PM
I do not want to repeat what others have said, but i have the privilege of knowing coach frank, through football and lacrosse and watched many games he has coached.He is someone you respect,parent or child,the qualities he teaches are not only the techniques of the sport,and the importance of 100% effort and good sportsmanship, his players will understand respect, leadership,friendship that will continue for many years after football is over.they will have the sound fundamentals to move on to the level.
Rhoda Erling Cloutier September 08, 2011 at 05:03 PM
Thanks Ron! So often we see or hear stories of parents pitted against coaches and coaches being too tough on young players. How seldom we hear about coaches that nurture and inspire... both kids and their parents!
JC September 08, 2011 at 08:28 PM
Frank is another example of why the Mudhogs program is so successful and well respected. Other youth leagues could learn a lot from Frank's leadership.
John Brockelman September 09, 2011 at 12:06 PM
Another great article Ron. I had the pleasure of coaching lacrosse with "Coach Frank" this past Spring. Everything he teaches for football he taught for lacrosse as well. It is respect, hard work, and teamwork first. Practice hard and you play. Goof off and Coach Frank gives you a warning. Goof off again and your playing time is cut. The kids who played for him in Muhogs already knew this, the others found out quickly. Yes it is true he does yell a lot from the sidelines ( I admit I am not the quietest person either), but it is all positive. Coach Frank is another one of the many great volunteer coaches we have in Farmington that give their time to help our kids learn more than just the sport.
Ron Goralski September 09, 2011 at 03:12 PM
Thank you all for commenting. Stories about the anti-Coach Franks of the youth sport's scene tend to command more attention than their good-guy counterparts. I find it disturbing in a time where so many children are desperately seeking positive role models for guidance. Sadly, if this column had been about a coach that kicked a referee in the head or used an ineligible player, the comments would be off the page. There are Coach Franks on every field, in every city and town in this country. This particular Coach Frank surely cringed when he realized he was being featured in this article. That’s because good, honest people rarely need confirmation of their outstanding contributions. And it’s the very same reason that they need to be pulled out of the crowd, if only for a week, to prove that the balance of power has not tipped in the wrong direction. .
Ron Goralski September 09, 2011 at 03:13 PM
There are two phenomenons in particular that I consider a sign that a player has connected with a coach. The first is the child who after practices and games, without fail, thanks the coach. And the other is when former players show up during a practice or before a game to visit with their former coaches. I’ve always promoted and encouraged this. What could be a greater tribute to a man or to a league? Send me the stories of the people that make a difference in your communities. I want to hear from West Hartford, Southington, Granby, Avon, Canton, Berlin, and wherever else you are viewing this from. Let’s take the time to pull some of these magnificent people out of the crowd every so often

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